If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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