You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
