I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The power of my boobs compel you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
