i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize