Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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