Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
only if we run a train.
done.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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