i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
