They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
