It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
