According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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