I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
