I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
