I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
