may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
