hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize