thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize