Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
