Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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