Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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