I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
you made out with another girl for some wings
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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