Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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