Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
