im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
