Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
