Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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