4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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