i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
