I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How naked do you want me to be?
I love you.
Bad choice
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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