My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
