he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
