i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's great music for shaving your balls
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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