Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Use "feeling words"
Yay
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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