I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
