And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
