he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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