Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
