Joe is yelling at the trees again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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