In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
