I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
