Small penises have feelings too.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
