Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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