how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
