I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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