i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize