hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize