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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
