Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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