my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?