Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.

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  (212): She was not exactly lady-like. Down there. http://tfl.nu/8oh7
  Replies (7) Good night (672) Bad night (1587)
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  (805): View more from California

  Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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  (805): Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore" http://tfl.nu/y23i
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (879)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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  (401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek
  Replies (41) Good night (811) Bad night (2663)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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  (720): You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb http://tfl.nu/rxp6
  Replies (16) Good night (3768) Bad night (851)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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  (503): There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/694m
  Replies (8) Good night (4392) Bad night (992)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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  (250): Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night? http://tfl.nu/nxqa
  Replies (7) Good night (3422) Bad night (873)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?

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  (952): Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed? http://tfl.nu/137p
  Replies (8) Good night (1844) Bad night (997)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.

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  (678): I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school. http://tfl.nu/ax1k
  Replies (14) Good night (3904) Bad night (850)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?

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  (706): Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son? http://tfl.nu/k5tb
  Replies (0) Good night (703) Bad night (1182)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

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  (605): Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming... http://tfl.nu/2o49
  Replies (21) Good night (1764) Bad night (2791)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.

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  (716): Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum. http://tfl.nu/mwlv
  Replies (3) Good night (1240) Bad night (519)
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  (949): View more from California

  I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library

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  (949): I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library http://tfl.nu/heel
  Replies (24) Good night (2832) Bad night (634)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers

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  (267): This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers http://tfl.nu/wazn
  Replies (6) Good night (1375) Bad night (363)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...

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  (613): Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches... http://tfl.nu/4xud
  Replies (9) Good night (919) Bad night (333)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt

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  (604): you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt http://tfl.nu/zjh0
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (115)

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