you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
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Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me