I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
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I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch