you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
