i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
