I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
