By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
