Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
