i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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