At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When did angry sex become our thing?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
