I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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