I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.