so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver