Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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