Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
