It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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