AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
