He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night