Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?