I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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