I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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