I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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