tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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